Guestbook

Upon revamping this site the previous guestbook was automatically discarded. This is very unfortunate, i look forward to seeing new comments in this guestbook. I appologize for the set back, please leave any comments you feel necessary. If there was a poem here that you liked, please post a comment and which poem suited you the most. Thank you and hope you will find something here you can relate to.

Time to go.

Theres no one for me here to stay
One day i will just up and go away
Ill regret so much from the past
My fathers rift is killing me fast.
I hate this life, its never what it should be
No matter how hard i try, failure is all I see.

Night after Night I lay
with so many dreams Ive woken
Nightmares come to say
Your quiet screams have broken
These haunting memories
The pain in my token.

I have to get away to find some truth about me
my friends, my family, none of you can see.
Im tired, done, and dont want to fight
Ive waited and waited, and faded away
I dont care if you know
I dont care what you think
My times betrayed unknown
Its finally time to go.

-C.S.

Ive knelt at your altar, ive cut out my heart. Ive lived in your ruins, my pain is your art.

-Author Unknown

My plaguing remembrance.

If I could wash away the shadows.
If i could touch the clouds tomorrow
If I could stop the pain so hollow.
It would end all my sorrow

In this life youll live in agony
Theres not one time that i am happy.
I feel so lost, im am confused.
When loves been crossed, you feel so used.

oh how i miss the sense of touch.
its been so long since I felt so much.
With all these dreams, theres no reality.
In quiet screams, youll hear my sanity.

-C.S.

A.D.

As I watch the snow
Gently falling down,
Ill wish ill know
she was around.

But since now
That can not be,
Ill watch the snow
in her memory.

I hope that she knows
Im sorry for what ive done
No one in this world
Could take her place. None

Sometimes i think
That she can still hear me
I know im wrong
But i still have this life to live
you see..

Itll always be for you
For the times i let you down
But most of all
Because i never said, i love you.
Goodbye..

Song by C.S.

My Life

Im lost in a maze
I struggle for days
The endless pain
Cant clear the stain.

In this pit of darkness, i lie.
With the sound of a hopeless echo, I cry.
I want you to understand, I try
But there is nothing i can do, but die.

fuck off

Im so tired of being sad
Whats happened to me just makes me mad
This is my life, I live it everyday
Theres not a moment that I feel ok
This is my life, I hate to say
Im never happy, I just feel the pain
Im so tired of feeling this way
I wish some day..it will all go away
You’ve all abandoned me, where do your loyalties lie
I thought we were close, but it was a lie…I have to say
I hate my life…why is it this way…
I just don’t…know what to say…

hypmotized

i cant see in your eyes
because theyve turned black
and im hypmotized
i cant realize
that your not the one for me
but i will survive

you say such terrible lies
youve hurt me so much
i cant believe its you
im weak to your cries
so sensitive to you touch
another one dies

When will this feeling end?
Will loneliness ever part?
I wonder if there is someone
To fix my wounds and heal my heart
j9

Living without the love that I need,
I wish that I could take the lead.
I want to stand on my own,
Without the feeling of being alone
j9

I am...

A man with a heart,
a man with a soul.
I'm not a work of art,
I jsut want you to know.

Im caught in a gaze,
in which you amaze.
Those beautiful eyes
have left me adaze...

I wish to know more,
I wish to know why
But im not so sure,
Just how to comply.

This beautiful girl,
I wish to tame
Its funny though,
I dont know your name.
-C.S.

Giving Up.

Whatever was, could not be.
Whatever is, should not be.
And there is you, who I cant see.
If it is true, then you will fine me.

-C.S.

Break Away

What happens in your life
Counts on you
Opinions cloud you mind
Your soul in a fog
To thick for light
A prisoner, confined

Can't blame others
For what you've caused
They don't matter
Your mistakes misguide you
A spiral of doom
Your whole world shatters

Break away, free yourself
Break away from the shadows
Free yourself of chains that bind
Fill what was once hollow

Yourself inside
You can not see
Lost within your head
Search for the answer
It's hard to find
The words can't be said

Feeling are hidden
Down below
Find and bring it out
Must save yourself
Only you can
Throw away your doubt

-Song by One Trick Pony

"If I am permitted a fair fight, roses will fall upon me as I grace the skys with your pressance once again..."

-C.S.

A Rose

A simple rose
can brighten any day
so hold it to your nose
and sniff the pain away.

-C.S.

What have I done...

With this confusion that is left behind
And all my worries aren’t hard to find
I spend my time thinking about you
I never know just what to do

I cry and cry and try some more
And I fail to realize you’re at the door
I never meant to hurt you
I’d give my life just so you’d know its true

I bring things up that are hard for you
I try to forget, it’s hard for me too
I’ve had many downs at times in my life
But you have to know I want you as my wife

I feel like you settled for me
I’m not what you want and never to be
I hold high the expectations of truth.
What will come in our future without youth?

My heart drips of sadness, pain, and fear.
I often wonder just why I’m here.
I look in your eyes and that’s when I know
Its you I live for, my dreams have come to show.

There are plenty of unsettled times
But you’re the one, I’ve seen the signs
I’ve never felt like this before
What’s mine is yours, lets even the score.

08/25/2002

-C.S.

< post deleted >
-C.S.

I dont know...

Im so sorry for the things that ive done
I dont know what to say anymore
Its not like I want a gun
I just got stressed and wasnt sure

Too many troubles for me right now
Ive been through so much
Nobody can understand how
but i dont know what it is about your touch

Im lost sometimes
i dont know what to do
Im not what everyone thinks I am
But how can I show that its true?

Im not sad
Im not mad
Im not angry
just loney

I realize that I cant show my happiness
Its happened before
Im not caught up in any madness
I jsut dont know what to do...

The Let Down

There was a hope
Without a lost tomorrow
No temptations by this rope
or an endless sorrow

Welcomed here with open arms
My heart was lifted from the mud it was burried
Mystified by your charms
I was lost and love was hurried

Im not what you want
I hear it everyday
My features do not comply
So what more is there to say

-C.S.

Delightful Hope...

There is light
on this darkened moon
Dont live in fright
Relief will come soon

Hold your head up high
and never ever cry
Trust and try
and relief will come soon

There is a hand that rocks the cradle
There is a answer to every wish
There is a smile for all of sadness
And youve given me that hope, to end all this madness

Since I met you
I forgot the feeling of pain
It came without a bit of strain
Ive been happy because of you

Thank you for your time
Thank you for your love
As I watch the time unwind
I will remember this sweet dove

So go about your life
and do as you see fit
jsut always remember
Ill be here, if you decide to quit

Dedicated - A.M.A
-C.S.

Lost Cause

What a hesitant life to live
I strive to smile
Never shy to give
Seems like such a long long mile

So many chances for fun
So much time for nothing
Sometimes I want to run
Then I find ive got something

What? it has no meaning
It is not life that holds me back
Sometimes its as if im screening
And get lost in all the black

Some say im too nice
Some say im too sad
Truth is, im like ice
Im slick, not mad

Its funny to think
You all want me
But subject yourselves
To things benieth me

Im a picture of the thought
Im a sign of what you could of had
Im a guy you can taunt
with no care of the being mad

Its you who leave me
All you who want me
Im so great to you all
And yet you say that im too good?
what a ball

You even say that you love me
Every one of you
Someday youll be able to see
Love is drowning, and so are you.

Maybe I deserve you
Maybe its my time to shine
Maybe I should be the one
That takes what is finally mine

There goes a saying
Nice guys finish last
But there is no race worth being
and this is where I say that it is my past

-C.S.

It doesnt matter

One day I woke up
And I peered into your eyes
I sigh and I break up
My heart crys.

When flowers bloom
I must assume
Your presence is near
I feel a tear

For only beauty like yours
Can cause spring so true
My heart is yours
What else is new?

I’m thankful for you
I should not be here
I know it’s untrue
It’s the reality that I fear

I look in your eyes
And I try to find
A life without lies
When will it unwind?

I love you so much
Yet I’m falling apart
So sensitive to your touch
I need a new start

A struggle for truth
To let it be known
We’re still in our youth
We've got time to tone

I hear you speak
In my heart you wander
It’s you I seek
The rest of my life I ponder

08/25/2002

-C.S.

A breeze of hope

I remember the silky air in the jaded night
It passes through like a soft aria
Love has blossomed

-C.S.

Memories...

Sometimes a whisper in the heart of night can put at ease all the wishes of a caring person who would stop all of existence, to secure someone’s happiness.

Instead there is silence, only to hear are the shrieking sounds of the emptiness around you.

You crawl lifelessly to reach a helping hand but it’s torn away from you as if you had no standing as a man.

A sigh desperately from your lungs as if they are pleading with you to end the anxiety that leaves you in restless morning.

The growl of your anger grows.

Your hands begin to shake, the growl gets bigger and stronger until in one breath you let out this howling pain that has plagued you.

Only to realize that it is only a temporary relief,
of the suffering that still continues.

Depressed now you walk to a corner to find your angel,
once met its up to you to take its hand.

And with your last ounce of courage your pain ends..

-C.S.

My brain exam

I decided to take a break from a poem for a sec and post this. I thought it was interesting. I took this exam and got these results...i found it relevant to this website.

Chris, you show a slight right-hemisphere dominance with a moderate preference for auditory processing, an unusual and somewhat paradoxical combination of characteristics.
You are drawn to a random and sometimes nonchalant synthesis of material. You learn as it seems important to a specific situation, and might even develop a resentment of others who attempt to direct your learning down a specific channel.
Your right-hemispheric dominance provides a structure that is only loosely organized and one which processes entire swatches of reality, overlooking details. You are emotional in your reactions and perceptual more than logical in your approach, although you can impose structure and a language base when necessary.
Your auditory preference, on the other hand, implies that you process information sequentially and unidimensionally. This combination of right-brain and auditory modes creates conflict, as you want to process data more rapidly than your natural processes allow.
Your tendency to be creative and free-flowing is accompanied by sufficient ability to organize and be logical, allowing you a reasonable degree of success in a number of different endeavors. You take in information methodically and systematically which can then be synthesized rapidly. In this manner, you manage to function consistently well, although certainly less efficiently than you desire.
You prefer the abstract and are a theoretician at heart while retaining the ability to be practical. You find the symbolism in a great deal of what you encounter and are something of a "mystic."
With regards to your lifestyle, you have the mentality which would be good as a philosopher, writer, journalist, or instructor, or possibly as a systems designer or social worker. Perhaps most important is your ability to "listen to your inner voice" as a mode of skipping over unnecessary steps to achieve your goals.

With you looking at me
You make me feel high
Every single thing you do to me
Is like I'm drunk.

-DMB

My hell is my Reality

Im conquered and lost
Im all alone
Ive forgotten what was
And am on my own

There was a time when serenity was mine
There was a time that I wasn’t confined
Every day from my waking moment
I feel the pain and plead with content

Please take me away
Take me away from my whole life
Save me from this hell I live
I believe that I’ve died once already
I must have sinned a sin of unforbidden forgiveness
And this is my punishment…this is my hell.
For all eternity

-C.S.

Pain

With this pain
I see no light
Every day I strain
And try to fight

I’m losing this battle
Of life, theres no end

Im riding a horse with no saddle
On my way to hell

I feel a void, an empty heart awaits
I’m lost and alone
My future holds black traits
Things I wouldn’t have cared to have never known

This is my life
A dark hole of emptiness
When will it end?
When will it end?

I wallow in self doubt
Will I make it through this?
I don’t even want to
MY heart is bleeding
You wont understand
Nobody will,
Im all alone…

-C.S.